Rabenmutter

You know what sucks? Mami guilt! Feeling like a Rabenmutter. Yes, Germans call bad mothers "raven mother". Here's a link to explain why:
http://www.dw.com/en/rabenmutter/a-6616009

Mami guilt doesn't have to explained, if you're a mother you know the feeling. No matter if you are a working mom with a career outside of the house, a stay home mom, live in a mansion or in a tiny apartment. I guarantee if you care at all about your kids you have felt it. If you are not a mom: Mom guilt is the feeling that no matter what you do, you can never be the mother your children deserve. You feel like you are not doing enough. Ever. Even if everyone else tells you that you are the best mother in the world, you will still find something to beat yourself up about. Here come some crazy reasons why I have felt major guilt before:

- not delaying umbilical cord clipping right after birth
- not eating enough protein in my pregnancies (yes, I still feel guilty about these 2 things now...)
- the sleep training we did with Frida and not having a family bed
- not playing with your kids nonstop
- having kids watch tv
- not buying exclusively organic food
- the kids not having enough friends because they are not in preschool
- not going on amazing trips every day, especially on weekends
- not living close to our families
- not having a house with backyard
- living in a crazy place like NYC
- being tired
- Willa screaming so much as a baby (must be my fault, right?)
- not "teaching" Frida preschool stuff every day
- being too strict
- not being strict enough
- not having a dog
- not having tons of money for all those music, art, movement classes
- kids getting hurt on my watch
- our seasonal tree still having snow on it. Rabenmutter can't even keep up with the seasons.


The list is endless. There are gazillions of these dumb reasons.


You know what also sucks? Not being supported when you whine about these unreasonable guilt trips to other mama friends. Supporting each other is SO important! Being a parent is hard. Emotionally. You need all the mental support you can get! I can't speak for everyone, but if I ever tell you about all these worries what I really need to hear back is that
a) I am insane.
b) I am not insane. (Yeah...)
c) You feel mami guilt, too.

Support. Solidarity. Our friendship should be a judgement free, safe zone.

Would love to hear feedback. What do you guilt trip yourself about? Do daddies know this feeling? COMMENT AWAY, please :)